Forever Alone

There are no words to describe how I feel right now. It's as if the magnetic poles on the Earth changed position and everything is out of whack. Everything is unbalanced. How quickly things can change and did change is unbelievable. I thought I was torn up about Katie's death, but this is ten times worse. A million times worse. For how much I loved Katie, I loved Ray even more. It's so hard. It's so hard to comprehend and wrap my mind around what just happened. I don't want to think about it, and yet, that's all I can think about. There's no one I can talk to. No one that will listen. No one that understands what I'm going through. I want it all to end. I want it all to go away. I want to go away. I don't want to be here anymore. If only I could press a button and get it all back. I had everything: I had the girl of my dreams and we had a plan. I had a caring, harmless brother and he mattered to me. It seemed like they were the only two who understood me and who would listen to me. Now, they're both gone...